Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
"Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right." I don't remember off the top of my head who initially said that, but it is very accurate. Most people will agree. But how often do we notice that this is actually happening and take ownership of our role in the process?
For example - something I tell my coaching clients a lot is that it is not "paranoia" if its true. When individuals come to me with " I feel so paranoid, I feel like everyone is talking about me" or " I feel so paranoid, I feel like no one wants to work/play/live/etc with me," its time to look at how this could be true.
Chances are ( outside of genuine psychosis) what you are thinking, and feeling is true. If you did something incredibly avoidable yet embarrassing in public, have you not showered in weeks, have a flair for obnoxious fashion, or any number of things that draws considerable attention to yourself then yeah... People are probably talking about you. If you're rude, dramatic, and exhausting to be around; people probably don't want to be around you. This does not mean you are mentally ill; it means you are getting what you are asking for on a subconscious level. Sometimes we call this self-sabotaging.
I know this may sound harsh, but there is a significant silver lining. These are all things that are under your control. You can never control how other people things act or feel, but you can change how YOU act, think and feel. AND you can use this power to alter your reality. Don't want people talking about you? Don't do things worth talking about. Don't want people to avoid
you? Don't be someone that people want to avoid. People are responding to the energy that you put out.
Many people actually fear the amount of control they have over their own lives. Because of this, they try to place that power somewhere else - on to family ("they won't let me"), friends ("they made me"), teachers ("they failed me on purpose," or society in general. But, giving away our power is never the solution. It just creates a reality of perceived helplessness that we want to escape from, but we do nothing actually to free ourselves.
Take a look an honest look at your life. Are there places where you are giving your power away and becoming the victim of your own narrative? Is this something that you want to change? If so - good- time to seek out help from a professional that can help you achieve your goals.
xoxo